Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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