Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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