guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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