Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
