I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
