I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
