Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
