Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sarcasm needs its own font
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
