He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
