His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
