all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
