Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
