I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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