Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
