That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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