apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
