I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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