You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize