i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
