I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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