im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
