Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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