She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
