I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
