I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
