My room smells like vodka and shame
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
and you fell through a lawn chair
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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