I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
