Buhtt sex?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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