these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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