you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Are my feet made of real feet?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
