It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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