Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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