so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
