you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
