Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
