hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
