yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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