If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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