New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
