I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
