Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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