I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
