omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
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How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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