Only a mothe r could love this liver
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize