one might say we're banned from that church
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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