Having a random hookup so left but love u
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
