you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize