Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
