I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants