It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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