Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...