I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.