Who wears a wallet chain?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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