Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize