I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Are we still banned from the library?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
