we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
