Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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