i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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