maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize