ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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