im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
