I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
