I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
