i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
