her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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