What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
