On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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