Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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