why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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